Friday, February 26, 2010

Starting to Feel Good

I'm over 13 weeks now, so, officially I'm in the second trimester. It's been easier the last few days. (Knock on Wood!) I haven't felt pukey, and I'm starting to show a little bit, and the baby is moving a lot. At night before I fall asleep, I put my hands on top of my womb and I can feel peanut wiggling around in there. I hope he/she doesn't start to think that night time is wiggle time!

It's good though, I can eat food, and all the junk food I was craving and was the only thing I could somewhat keep down, now sounds disgusting, so we've been eating a lot healthier. This is very good, because the main difference between Midwifery care and OB care is the focus on nutrition and exercise. My Midwife, as they all pretty much do, give you a paper with a lot of blanks on it, and you fill in what you eat for an entire month. This is so they can see what you diet consists of. Mainly to make sure you are getting enough protein (80-100 grams a day) and fluids (at least a gallon of water/tea) and lots and lots of fiber from fruit and veggies. Also, since we are trying to NOT birth a monster size baby, we are aiming to cut out almost all grains and sugars, keeping the occasional whole grain here and there. So this will be good for me too see a break down of what I eat too. When she handed the page to me at our last prenatal, I asked her if I can wait till after the nausea ends, she smiled and said "of course".

So that's my plan, added to it, will be the daily cups of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, to help tone my uterus to prepare for labor. Not to be confused with Red Raspberry Tea. It's the Leaf that the tea needs to be made out of. And no, it won't in any way, start labor, it simply helps your contractions when you do go into labor to be more effective. That and hopefully today, I'll pick up my Prenatal Yoga DVD from Angel, and I'll start my Prenatal Belly Dancing DVD later on.

So we're getting there. We are a third of the way done, and have pretty much everything taken care of, the MW is paid, we meet with our Doula again at the end of the 2nd trimester and we will most likely take Birthing Classes again around there too. So, all that's left for me to do is.....grow the baby!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Mommy Breakdown

If any of you know me, you know that I am one of those open book type of people. I know a lot of moms go through tough moments, and I am definitely included in that group.

This morning, Liam got up at 6:45. He used to get up at 9:30, which seems so heavenly looking back. I'm always exhausted. Making another human being is a lot of work and really does take a toll on a woman's body. So I hear, that if you want a kid to get up later, go in, lay them back down, and keep doing that till it's time to get up. Yeah, that was so emotionally exhausting. All I wanted him to do was go to sleep. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to crawl back in bed, between the cozy covers and close my eyes and go back to non-nauseated dream land. Obviously, this was impossible with a screaming kid in the neighboring room.

I became so frustrated. He kept signing 'potty', so I'd take him in there and he'd just sit on the potty. Just sit there for 15-20 min. That was the last thing I wanted to be doing; sitting on a cold bathroom floor, waiting for a pee pee drizzle. I finally said, "ok, no more, we're going back to bed." He wasn't too keen on that. He screamed, signed 'more potty', but I was too frustrated to bother to wait any longer. I put a pull up back on him, and put him back in bed. Yeah, I tried the, lay back down thing, only , when a kid gets so big, laying back down doesn't always stick, and at Liam's age, if you can get him to lay down, that's progress. We battled this for about an hour. So there he was screaming, I was crying, so I call Phillip.

Through tears I tell him the situation, and he sympathizes wonderfully. He can't do anything of course, but being Friday, he encouraged that the weekend was coming, and that meant mommy sleeps in while daddy and Liam have morning bonding time. It's sad, but I feel I should be able and feel comfortable calling a mom friend, but we (as mom's) have this weird mindset that all other moms but us are perfect, and how dare well let any of them know that we struggle at any given moment with any aspect of our lives.

I seriously doubted that I would get the words I needed from someone else but Phillip. We had a bid discussion about a week ago, during another hormonal fit, that when people say shitty things like "well, what are you going to do when the other one gets here?" or "And you wanted another one" or "You'll have twice as many in a few months" or "And you only have one right now" or "And there's another one coming". YES THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I KNOW I'M PREGNANT, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE ONE MORE ADDITION TO THE FAMILY AND I AM WELL AWARE OF THE INCREASE IS THINGS TO DO AND TAKE CARE OF WHEN HE/SHE COMES. Seriously, I don't know how to take these comments, usually I just shut up and don't say anything. What are you supposed to say? What do people mean by this? To me, the only way to interpret these things is 1) you have it easy because you only have one right now, so why are you complaining 2)what were you thinking having another 3)You have no idea how hard it's going to be so enjoy this "easy" part now. Yeah, none of those are encouraging or helpful or supportive, so why do people, especially women, moms say them?

Just because you want something, doesn't mean it's going to be easy. I am highly aware that a lot of the parts of motherhood/parenthood are tough, physically, emotionally, etc. That doesn't mean it's not worth while. Why do people think everything is supposed to be easy? Sometimes, things are hard. And they suck, and it seems like there is no end. Why can't women, moms, people in general say, "I know it's hard, and you are doing the best job you can, and that's all that should be required." Sometimes, that all someone needs to hear, not how, your situation is worse, not how their situation is going to get worse, just listen, and acknowledge.

To let everyone know, I finally, after talking to Phillip, went in, got Liam, picked him up, held him close as he turned to jello in my arms, and I cried and cried and told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was as he laid then quietly. We got some cheerios, and he cuddled up next to me and ate them. He did take a nap a couple hours later, and we cuddled in bed, and when we woke up, I think we both felt a lot better.

So to all the moms out there, yes, it's hard, not occasionally, not sometimes, a lot of the time. Maybe most of the time. It's very hard, and it's the hardest thing you might ever do, but hang in there, we all do the best we can and that is enough. Why don't more moms talk about this stuff, we know we all must go through it. Let's start talking.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


For those who don't know what this is, it's usually a vaginal exam plus external exam that tells you the shape of your pelvis, at least the guesstimated shape. If you are found to have a "smaller than average" pelvis, this does not mean birth will be harder for you because your pelvic ligaments stretch and baby's head molds too, so there is no way of knowing.

I myself was very curious, my midwife doesn't do pelvimentary only because she doesn't see the point, and has concern that if "results" show a "small pelvis" then the mom would be discouraged from birthing, or have doubts. This didn't stop my curiosity. I didn't do a vaginal exam, but did do external palpitations and was amazed. My pelvis is not only normal, or if anything on the larger side because I'm on the larger side, but it was amazing how different positions change the shape of the opening, and the amount it opens. I think the pregnancy insomnia is kicking in, so there I was, laying in bed, on my side with one leg thrown over Phillip and trying to fall asleep. In one Ina May Gaskin book, she talks about putting one hand on your pubic bone and one on tail bone and move around and see how they move. This is usually the widest part of your pelvis, babies rarely (unless transverse) have issues passing through it. The Ischial points are the narrowest and can be felt as you make your way around your pelvis. It was really easy for me to find these points when side lying. I then kept fingers on both those points, which was around the front of each cheek, and move to different birthing positions. I moved from side lying to on my back, the typical position you see women birthing in, knees pulled up, an chin tucked, and I was SHOCKED how extremely narrow the opening got. No wonder moms have trouble so much and no mom without meds chooses this position to birth in, her body usually tells her, "Excuse me, do you want this baby out? If so, you better get off your back and open up!" Then moved to what is known as a labor squat, if you don't know what that is, it's better defined as a "crouch", feet flat, and knees all the way bent to bottom drops. I was then SHOCKED SHOCKED SHOCKED how wide the opening got from one ischial point to the other. If I had to guess, I'd say the difference between one the back and squatting was easily an extra CM or two. How much difference would this make if more women were encouraged to birth in this position. Even with a "walking" dose epidural you can still maneuver into this position. Not to mention, the amount of epsiotomies, vacuum, forceps, and cesarean sections it would eliminate!

I highly recommend women do this, mainly to get to know your body. Yeah it's weird, but the 20 seconds is worth the knowledge you gain. You don't have to let anyone know you did it, as yes, you may get weird looks, but seriously, it's not worth now knowing in my opinion.

Heading towards the Second Trimester.....

We are 11 weeks 2 days, and it has been a ride. I did the acupuncture therapy and that helped a lot for a little while, then it stopped working as well. So, we went ahead and got on Zofran. It's so much better. I still get nauseous and sometimes have a puke episode, but all and all, I think we are through the rough of it. YAY!!!

We had our first prenatal with Christy. It was great, Phillip and her got to meet, and we went over what labs we wanted and didn't want. I think we ended up only getting the CBC to check for iron levels, the others I was pretty confident we didn't need or were unnecessary. We did, get to hear the baby's heart beat!! That was of course the best part! It's in the 160s, very fast, Liam was about the same through out pregnancy too. We also found out the our placenta is high up, so we don't need to worry about placenta Previa (placenta covering the cervix), which is a concern for pregnancies after a cesarean. It would make us have to schedule an elective CS, and home birth would then be out of the question. So that's great news! Also, Christy has a tub we can use, so we don't have to buy one, whooohooo! saves us $145. We only have to buy a liner which is like $30 or so, not too bad.

I did have a consult with my OB about VBAC, and she is wonderful!! I did some research for Austin rates on VBAC and CS, and they are pretty crappy. Well, they suck all together. Austin has a VBAC rate of 1%, that means that only 1% of moms who have a CS, end up birthing vaginally for their next baby. Yeah, it should be around 70% if not more. The CS rate, depends on the hospital, St. David's South is 50% and most of the other ones linger around 30-40%. It should be between 10-15%. Yeah, Austin is not the best city when it comes to childbirth. Anywho, we talked for while, and she is a FULL supporter of VBAC, and she knows Christy, and thinks very highly of her. She told me one visit, "I think you should choose where you feel you will have the most success and birth there". Very encouraging, and no, of course my choice was not the hospital. I have a 1% chance of giving birth in a hospital or I could choose a 90% chance of birthing at home. Not a tough choice for me.

So we are on our way! I'm going to start Red Raspberry Leaf Tea in a couple weeks to get my birthing muscles ready, and upping my protein to prevent pre-eclampsia. Our next appointment is at about 4 weeks from today and by then, hopefully I'll be showing, I have some cute maternity clothes I can't wait to get into! LOL!